Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Da Vinci Code Banned in Sri Lanka !

Sri Lankan president has banned screening of the movieThe Da Vinci Code in Sri Lanka. It is said that the decision to ban the film was taken on an appeal by the Catholic Bishops Conference in Sri Lanka. This is an outrageous decision to say the least. A movie which has been very well received in all the countries it was screened last week was deemed to offend the sensibilities of the Catholic Sri Lankan. Total damn bullshit! This film is & will be shown in all the major Christian European countries no one has banned it. But Asian Catholic Church has begun a major offensive against it claiming all kind of nonsense. Is only Asians have frail sensibilities that are so easily offended? Or do they think Asians ( which incidentally includes these bishops too) are utter idiots to confuse a work of art based on a fiction with the facts ?


To quate a part of the article,

“The Bishops charged that the movie is a product of a "totally perverted mind" and that it reaches the height of moral corruption. "It matters greatly to us as it adversely affects the most sacred beliefs of our people when it levels the charge that the Catholic Church is essentially a vast network founded on maintaining the lie of Jesus' Divinity."

Calling the film and the book blasphemous, the Bishops said the book attacks the very person and mission of Jesus Christ. "Those who say the book is just a story do not understand that this deception is part of the book's power. The book and the film are offensive to Christians. Brown and Howard are clearly targeting Christians when they attack what is most sacred to us, namely the person of Jesus Christ," the letter added.The Bishops pointed out that while artistic creativity needs a climate of freedom, such freedom cannot be separated from responsibility.”

What he basically means is creativity is just fine until you reach Jesus Christ. Beyond that is off limits. These are the kind of people who banned Satanic Verses of Salaman Rushdie & placed a bounty of his head, as well as Thaslima Nasrin. These kind people some how got the then government of Sri Lanka to ban Bettie Mahamud’s “Not without My Child” too. They just worship a different god. Their intolerance & ignorance knows no bounds. They mentally still live in medieval times, where freedom of expression was suppressed & burning at stakes of any person who had any different view was the inevitable punishment. To them questioning their faith is unthinkable.

Da Vinci Code is a fiction which was based on some actual facts, which incidentally has been debated for centuries. Some of those facts a disputed by many scholars while some are accepted as truth. Neither Dan Brown nor Howard have claimed that the film to be the truth. It was their imagination & creativity working towards creating art. Not anything else.

The problem Catholic Church sees in this film is that it will make the viewer think. Not because they believe it to be truth but because they will see some parallels, some things they heard before & discarded. They will go and search about them. Catholic Church is afraid that. They want their followers to accept what ever they say as the gospel truth. They don’t want any questioning, just blind faith. And any kind of expression against them, whether to be fiction or factual is anathema to them.

I have bought the book and was looking forward to see the movie in big screen. Now I will have to watch it on my pc with a pirated DVD & be satisfied. This is quite sad & upsetting. We are deprived of a movie watched & enjoyed by millions worldwide by religious bigotry. And that is quite unacceptable.

Monday, May 08, 2006

More Udurawana Jokes!

Uduravana in Heaven

Mr. Uduravana died and went to heaven.

When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Mr. Uduravana thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

Uduravana replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

Uduravana Relaxing!

Mr. Uduravana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.
A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"

Uduravana answered, "No, I am Uduravana"
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Uduravana answered, "No! No! Me Uduravana!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Uduravana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.

He went up to him and asked,
"Are you Relaxing?"

The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Uduravana slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"

Uduravana, Rupavahini & Hidden cameras

Mrs. Uduravana caught her husband Mr. Uduravana searching high and low all around his living room.

Mrs. Uduravan: "What are you searching for?"

Mr. Uduravan: "Hidden cameras!"

Mrs. Uduravan: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Mr. Uduravan: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know that?"


Uduravana's English Exam

Mr. Uduravana finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam.

He replied
"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, and
thought, at last I wrote THUNK!!!"



Uduravana : Questions in brief

Mr. Uduravana is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away
as well, followed by his pant, socks and watch.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions here," he says, " it says here,
'Answer the following questions in brief'.


Mr. Uduravana & Wash Basin

Mr. Uduravana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.

After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Uduravana, what are you doing?"

Mr. Uduravana replies, "Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".


Travel

Mr. Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the
first time.

Getting on at Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the
plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my
balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom
of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and
he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket.I'll
give you some later! "

EMBARKATION CARD

When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to
fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name : Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex : Ticked the Female Box and wrote below : unlike these foreigners, we
always have sex with females !

GETTING OFF

Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited
and anxious to get off. So he went to the door before anyone, and prepared
to jump down.

"Wait sir, Wait" cried an air hostess.
"75 Kilograms" replied Udurawana and jumped off the plane!

HURT

Seeing Udurawana jump off the plane, an airport worker came running to his
aid. "Sir, Are you hurt? " He asked, helping Udurawanna to stand up. "No, I
am not Hurt. I am Udurawana" he replied.

IN THE HOSPITAL

In the Hospital After his jump from the plane, Udurawana was taken to a
doctor to be treated for minor injuries. While awaiting his turn for
treatment, Udurawana smiled with an old Englishman sitting next to him.

"Hello" said the Englishman " I'm suffering from Influenza"
"Hello" replied Udurawana. " I'm Udurawana from Sri Lanka"
The Englishman confused, said "I mean my Influenza... came from Catarrh".
"I know, I know" replied Udurawana.
"Though I say Sri Lanka, I am also from Pettah."

CONFERENCE

Conference proceedings 1


Fortunately, the injuries were not serious and Udurawana was able to
participate in the conference. The Chairperson said "Mr. Udurawana from Sri
Lanka will now address you !" Udurawana rose from his seat, and said:
"Udurawana Walawwa No. 29, Ranawana Road, Katugastota, Kandy, Sri Lanka."

Conference proceedings 2

When Udurawana announced his postal address to the audience, his Secretary
came for assistance.
"That is not what you are supposed to do, Sir", he said, giving him a five-page written-speech. "You are supposed to speak to them. Please read this speech to them!" Udurawana started reading aloud. Other than for a few mistakes in pronouncing, things were okay for a few
minutes.

Then, suddenly, Udurawana shouted: " Patto!" The audience got a bit excited, but Udurawana continued to read as if nothing happened. After another few minutes, another loud "Patto!" was
heard. Udurawana's secretary wanted to find out the reason for this,so he carefully followed the written speech.
And he found that.....
UDURAWANA WAS READING THE 'P.T.O.' AS PATTO!

LUNCH BREAK
During the conference lunch break, Udurawana dropped in at a restaurant
with an English friend. The friend ordered a Fanta and our Udurawana ordered a
Coke. The Suddah friend sipped the Fanta and said, "Aaah.....Fantastic...."

Our friend Udurawana sipped the Coke and yelled,
"Aaaaaaah.....Cockastic...."

AT THE BAR

It was a chilly day and as he wanted to warm himself up, he went to a PUB.
He saw two Englishmen sitting near the counter and joined them.

The first Englishmen said to the bar man "JOHNNY WALKER, single" The Bar man served
him. The second Englishmen said "JACKDANIEL, single". The Bar man served him too.

Now it was Udurawana's turn and he said: "HEEN BANDA UDURAWANA, MARRIED"!!!

Understanding

One day when Udurawana was waiting for a bus at a bus stop in London, it
started raining. But this wasn't a problem for Udurawana who used to take a
large umbrella with him all the time.

Having resorted to the shelter of his umbrella, Udurawana looked around to
see how the others at the bus stop are doings. Then he saw that there was a
white girl who didn't have an umbrella.

So Udurawana thought of helping her, and said." Why are you outstanding"

"Please come and understand my umbrella"

Friday, May 05, 2006

Me & Suhith @ Ambekke, which is world famous for the magnificent wood carvings.

Dupliacte Stonehedge ????????????

Part of Ambuluwawa Garden captured from the top of Chetiya

At the viewing platform in Ambuluwawa

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Weekend @ Kandy

Last weekend we went to Kandy, hometown of my buddies Senka & Nuwan. There were six of us with Suhith, Meeya & Tempa. We went by motorbikes on Saturday afternoon & came back on Tuesday morning. Had a wonderful time with roaming around Kandy city & visiting historical & religious places like Gadaladeniya & Ambekke Temples.

The best place was Ambuluwawa. While it a fairly new construction, the bio diversity & religious harmony site was a magnificent place with all the major religious worshipping places situated at the mountain top. And the road to the top is not an easy one. None of the bikes were able to climb it in any other gear than the 1st gear. The view at the top of GoviJana Chetiya is breathtaking, with Gampola town surrounded by mountains & Mahaveli River going between them. And the surrounding garden is a landscaping masterpiece by Sri Lankan standards.

And no trip in motorbikes is complete without an accident & we had a one. When we were coming from Colombo Meeya who was riding my bike had a glancing blow from a lorry & had a mighty tumble. Fortunately he was not hurt, but the bike was damaged a bit. And still I haven’t had the time to get them repaired.

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