Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Sun Microsystems: Where Unix came to die.

This is one of the slogans suggested by a Microsoft fan to Sun Microsystems after Sun has began an advertising company targeting Microsoft. Following are the list of his suggestions from his blog.

ü “We sell SPARC CPUs. Remember SPARC?”

ü “Sun Microsystems: Where Unix came to die.”

ü “Solaris, er, Linux, no Solaris, no Linux, uh Solaris, no, aw never mind”

ü “AMD CPUs. Linux OSs. We just add the cool logo.”

ü “It's a good thing we didn't buy Apple.”

ü “At least we didn’t throw chairs when Bill Joy left (they were repossessed).”

ü "We're the kings of open software (except Java)"

“Spite is so a business strategy”

ü “Yes, we are still in business. Why does everyone ask us that?”

A nice comeback or what ?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

All in a Days Work

As IT personals in a non-IT company we have to attend to some crazy computer problems almost daily. And user ignorance is the main cause of these scenarios. Received the following by e mail from one of my friends, which are very close to actual happenings.

01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

02. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

04. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

05. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

06. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

07. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

08. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

09. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

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