Me & My Thoughts
Genius @ Work ! Stay Away!! Just Kidding. I blog whatever I feels like. Current Affairs, Jokes, etc. I'm new to this & Still learning. So I need Ur comments. Anything !!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Redemption Of Althalus
This is the latest book I finished reading( finished is a relative word here. I finished all the available pages of the book. Unfortunately last 10 pages were missing. It's the peril readers have to face when borrowing books from a library, even when it is British Council).
It is very good fantasy, although the opening few chapters are little slow paced. It is witty & imagenatively written. It follows a thief called Althalus who was hired to rob a book from a house at the end of the world. Although the house turned out to be owned by a goddess Dweia, who is the sister of the Author of the book. And the Author Deiwos is Creator God. Althalus is persuaded to change the sides & he begins his education in to magic & other things.
Book is written by David & Laigh Eddings who are Husband & Wife. Must be a nice household with so much of imagination!.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The Problems We Face ..... Daily !!!!
As IT personnels we are suppose to help our co workers in their day to day computer related problems. It becomes tedious sometimes. But most of the time it is actually fun!.
Customer: Hi, this is Ceiling. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry.
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
A Holiday - Well.. sort of
Haven't posted for some time. Which means there was a longer delay than usual. Since the Full moon poyaday was on friday( 19th August) us Sri Lankans had a long holiday. So I went to Kandy to watch the famous Dalada ( Sacred Tooth) Perahera. I went with my Mother & Sister. We watched it on Wednesday. The final Perehera & the longest which is the largest was on Friday. But there are so many thousands of people to watch it on the final day we decided to watch it on Wednesday. Even then there were around 20 thousand people to watch it.
It was so long it took 3 hours to finish. There were 91 elephants & quite a few of them were tuskers. It was a beautiful sight & an unforgettable one too.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Another Victim of Peace
Lakshman Kadirgamar, Foreign Minister of Sri Lanka was assasinated yestreday (12th August) by LTTE. He was the major voice against the acts of terrorism, which LTTE was openly conducting. He pressurised LTTE to come to negotitions by successfully campaigning western countries to ban the organization on their countries.
His murder is another dispicable act by the Terrorist who seems to have impunity to do anything they want, because of the so called MOU signed between previous goverment & LTTE. They keep killing army officers, rival party members & now a government minister. How long the Sri Lankan Governmetn going to turn a blind eye is the question now everyone is asking.
If this trend continues, there would be an ugly uprising which will effect all the people in Sri Lanka. Specially the innocent Tamils living in harmony in south. While it is acepted that we need a political resolution for the ethnic problem in Sri Lanka, it does not mean we have to accept terrorism as a part of the negotiations.
Like Israel we must fight against terrorists while the political process is going on. Otherwise people will reject any peaceful resolutions & the country will plunge back to the chaos it once had.
Kids in school !
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : MARIA
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says,"School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on thefloor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years
WINNIE : Me!
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say,"I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,same time."
TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know whyhis father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still hadthe ax in his hand.
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly,do you say prayers beforeeating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a goodcook.
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly thesame as your brother\'s.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No,teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talkingwhen people are no
HAROLD : A teacher.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
IndianOil Cup Final
Sri Lanka beat India in the IndianOil Cup final by 18 runs. In the end it was an easy win, although Sehwag gave a big scare for every Sri Lankan supporter for a brief time. When he thrashed Mahroof & Lokuhettige to all parts of the ground. But ever reliable Chaminda Vass got him out, when Sehwag played a wrong shot to an inswinging delivery. After the 15 overs Sri Lankan spinners spearheaded by the best ever Muralitharan strangulated the Indians. It was inevitable & every one including Indians knew that's going to happen. But knowing is one thing & doing something about it is quite another.
So it is back to drawing board for India. They are still unable to find the balalnce in their ODI team. They are still unsure about whether they need 5 genuine bowlers or 6 specialist batsman & a keeper. Anyway Greg Chappel must be wondering whether Tom Moody got the better Asian job.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
The Euro English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
Discovery....Our Thoughts r with U
One problem was solved with minimum of fuss. But now they seems to find another one. Discovery crew are anxiously waiting for instruction from the earth to know whether they have to repeat the ride of the century to repair another part of Disovery.
These are people who ahieved their dreams of being astronauts. Who new that they were facing a mortal danger in the name of science. But no one turned back or gave up their mission. Now they are over 200 miles above us. Waiting & hoping to see the problems being solved, so they can re enter earth without any mishap.
They are the heroes of our time. These people risked their life for science, for research. Which ultimately will & are benefeting the whole human kind. Lets wish them all the best!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
HOW TO IMPRESS
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN...
protect her, hug her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN...
show up naked,